The unfold hankies

It's 2355. I'm going to sleep by now. But before that I would like to write something so that I can sleep tightly without thinking too much. Lately I've faced a few people who talk like the politicians. You know, the type who can't be interrupted and who talks things and then they just sidetrack most of the content so that the person who wants to say something (which they think that that person is going to bring down their points) will forget everything that he or she wants to say.

I rather silent than talk to such people. What as waste of time that I had to deal with that kind of people lately. But I can't avoid them that I have to face them through out the year. And sometimes I feel like 'Oh God, I hate tomorrow'. It's because of me had to face them at my workplace.

I can simply say that I want them to stop. But you know, politicians. Soon, they'll influence others not to like me, and I can't do my job with people hating me.

Alright the other thing that made me think too much today is about me. How can I like people so easily? Imagine when a person came to you and said that he likes you. You insist, but somehow after a quite time, you'll accept him for sure because of his persistence. But then day by day he just left you without saying a word...How can I deal with that kind of problem / person? I am still weak and cry a lot.

Well, I like to wipe all my tears with the unfold hankies rather than the folded one. Don't know what are the difference but the unfold hankies make me feel better......

Why I Hate Me

What it feel like being born again? I've done so much sins but yet never feel  like to repent. I wish to change but never do it. I wish for something that I couldnt have but yet I knew it is just a waste of time. I plan for everything but it never turn out good. Why do I hate myself so much, why I hate every human in the world including my Dad, my Mum, my sisters and even friends? How can I forget the past? How can I living with the past? How can I stop wishing for something that I cant have? How to stop loving someone so easily? How?

Day by day, I am still the same person. Always jealous of someone who are better than me, who got things that I want. I dont know how to start over a new life. I mean, I want to change by creating a new life. I want to be a very calm person, independent, very organize, a good planner and so on.

But somehow I still dont understand myself. Why I'm still doing things I hate? Why I do nothing when I want to do it? Why I'm sleepy but rarely sleep early? Why everytime I have money, I just buy a few things than there's no penny left? Why I follow other person doing unwillingly? And why am I like this? Good night.