What it feel like being born again? I've done so much sins but yet never feel like to repent. I wish to change but never do it. I wish for something that I couldnt have but yet I knew it is just a waste of time. I plan for everything but it never turn out good. Why do I hate myself so much, why I hate every human in the world including my Dad, my Mum, my sisters and even friends? How can I forget the past? How can I living with the past? How can I stop wishing for something that I cant have? How to stop loving someone so easily? How?
Day by day, I am still the same person. Always jealous of someone who are better than me, who got things that I want. I dont know how to start over a new life. I mean, I want to change by creating a new life. I want to be a very calm person, independent, very organize, a good planner and so on.
But somehow I still dont understand myself. Why I'm still doing things I hate? Why I do nothing when I want to do it? Why I'm sleepy but rarely sleep early? Why everytime I have money, I just buy a few things than there's no penny left? Why I follow other person doing unwillingly? And why am I like this? Good night.
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